Question One.

How do we know how to count to a hundred, a thousand, to ten thousand?

Answer One.

Most probably we’ve all learnt to count by understanding how each number follows another, allowing us to count up indefinitely to arbitrarily large numbers, beginning and ending at any point.

Answer Two.

Perhaps we are just recalling our past experiences when we count – perhaps we’ve actually experienced counting up one by one the numbers starting from one, and only just forgotten.

Question Two.

Why are children especially afraid of night and the dark?

Answer One.

Most probably it’s merely a childhood fear having the same origins as the fear of tigers, or doctors; although here the fear is decidedly more irrational seeing that a tiger can injure you rather severely, but the dark cannot.

Answer Two.

Perhaps there is something very much to fear about the dark, and we’ve only just forgotten.

Monday

“Daddy?”

I turn around slowly in the vague direction of the voice – it’s eight in the morning and my eyes are still full of sleep. In fact my entire face is invaded by sleepiness and it’s all I can do to try to drive it out of my head. Slowly I make out the form of my daughter standing by the kitchen door.

“Yes Sarah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“What does funny mean?”

I pause a moment.

“Funny, dear? Is it a word you heard at school?”

“Sort of.”

“Well, I guess something funny is something that makes you laugh. I’m actually surprised you didn’t know that word already.”

Sarah scrunches her face into something very much like a four-year-old frown. Four years going on five, actually. It’s her birthday in a month.

“Really?”

“Well, why don’t you tell me what you think the word means?”

Sarah reaches her arm into her nearby bag, pulls out a book, thumbs.

“Here. Look, it’s on this page.”

I look down at the book, pressing my face close to the page in an attempt to see without glasses. I can just distinguish the words Feeling funny, Tom clutched his stomach and ran to the bathroom.

“Oh. Funny. Here, funny means that there is something not normal. It could be strange, even scary.”

Sarah beams.

“Well, I saw a funny man yesterday night, Daddy.”

“Did you?”

“Yes, Daddy. When I was sleeping in my room I heard him open the cupboard door and climb out, so I said hello.”

I smile.

“That’s nice, Sarah. I hope you played nicely with him and shared your dolls and My Little Ponies.”

“Not really, Dad.”

“No?”

“When I said hello to him he didn’t say anything. And it was all dark, I could hardly see him. He just stood there, and then he climbed back into the cupboard and closed the door. I wanted to open it again and look for him but I couldn’t, it’s too high.”

“Oh. That’s too bad. Maybe you’ll see him again tonight, though. Then you can play with him before he goes back into the cupboard.”

Sarah nods.

“For now, though, we’re going to be late for school if we don’t hurry. There, here’re your cornflakes. Let’s get moving!”

Tuesday

“Daddy?”

“What’s up, dear?”

The caffeine in my morning coffee enters my bloodstream, slowly and methodically waking me up.

“I’m not scared.”

“Sure you’re not, dear. But what happened?”

“It’s Tuesday, see?”

“Uh huh.”

“And yesterday was Monday. When I told you about the funny man and asked you what funny means.”

“Uh huh.”

“And I’m not scared, not today or yesterday.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re not.”

“So last night when I went to sleep I was keeping a watch out on my cupboard, seeing if the funny man with no face would come back or not.”

I am fully awake now.

“With no face? You didn’t tell me about that.”

“I didn’t see his face until last night, when he got out of the cupboard and walked nearer to me.”

“And he had no face?”

Sarah’s voice trails, becoming softer and softer.

“He had a face, but it had no ears and noses and things.”

“And what happened after that?”

“Nothing, Daddy.”

“Nothing?”

“He just got back into the cupboard and shut the door. That’s all that I saw.”

“Well, if it happens again, tell me, okay?”

“I’m not scared.”

“It’s okay; just tell me if anything happens tonight, all right?”

“I’m okay.”

Sarah turns and walks into the bathroom, and as she walks I can just see the slightest of shivers.

In fact the kitchen grows terribly cold all of a sudden.

Wednesday

“Daddy.”

“Sarah?”

“I’m scared.”

She grasps my arm till the white of her knuckles matches the red of my arm, looking at the floor and chanting all the while like a Gregorian monk.

“I’m scared. I’m scared.”

“Sarah?”

“I’m scared. I’m scared of the funny man with no face.”

She clutches my arm, swaying forwards and backwards in tandem with the plopplopplop sound of the droplets from her soaked pajamas splashing onto the ground.

Night

As far as I’m concerned Sarah’s tiny bed isn’t made for two, but lying beside her is the only thing I can do to help her fall asleep.

“Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“Good night.”

“Good night, dear. Now try to get some sleep, all right?”

“Okay.”

“If you get any nightmares again, just nudge me. I’m right here beside you.”

“Okay.”

“Now, good night.”

“Good night, Daddy.”

I curl my body so my legs don’t stick out of the bed, and try to get a good night myself.

Day

I wake up to an unfamiliar (but definitely not unexplainable) cramp in my left thigh and sun in my eyes.

“Sarah, where are my glasses?”

“Sarah?”

“Sarah?”

Sarah emerges from underneath the sheets, squinting.

“Uh?”

“Do you know where my glasses are, dear?”

“I think they’re in the cupboard.”

“In the cupboard?”

“That one. The one with the funny –”

I shoot Sarah a glance as I reach over to the cupboard, open the door and retrieve my glasses which are tucked into a corner for some reason.

“Sarah, you know that there isn’t any man living in there, funny or not. The cupboard is empty except for your clothes, isn’t it? Look.”

Sarah stares at the sheets.

“But the man was there last night.”

“Last night? But you didn’t tell me a thing. I told you to nudge me if you were scared, or if you saw anything.”

“I didn’t see him.”

“Then that’s settled then.”

“I didn’t see him, but I heard him. I closed my eyes and hid under the covers once I heard the cupboard door opening, I didn’t want to see a thing.”

“Maybe it was just your imagination, dear. I know –”

“And then I wanted to wake you up but then there was nothing there when I nudged you – you were already out of the bed and I could hear you walking towards the cupboard.”

“Look, Sarah. It’s Thursday today, I’ll make an appointment for us to see Doctor Richard tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll be able to help us out.”

“Daddy!”

“Don’t worry, Sarah. There’s nothing in the cupboard. I promise.”

“Please, Daddy.”

Her face is wet and red.

“Just don’t play with my glasses next time, Sarah. I don’t want this to happen every time I sleep in your room.”

“Daddy, I didn’t hide your glasses. The cupboard door, it’s too high.”

Night

Amidst clouds of darkness I hear a scream so soft that it’s either coming from very far away, or very very deep within the earth.

I pretend it’s the former, and try to go back to sleep. The screams are slowly replaced by rolling hills and clouds, and then –

Strangely, I hear the same scream.

Half awake now, I stumble through near pitch-darkness to Sarah’s room, nearly falling over in the process. Inside I see my daughter quivering in the doorway, staring ghostly into the room.

“…Daddy?”

“I’m here, Sarah.”

“Help.”

She grabs onto my hand, trembling so hard I begin to shake myself.

“Don’t worry, Sarah, I’m here.”

Walking into the room, I gauge in the darkness the approximate position of the accursed cupboard and throw open the door with my free hand.

The door opens –

And instantly my neck twists to the left, searching for the source of the sudden, sharp pain in my left hand, and I see my fingers wedged between the teeth of a girl with a face so white it’s nearly clear.